Why “Dude” Just Won’t Die.
(Or: WTF is the big deal with Gender-Neutral pronouns?)
We’ve all heard it a million times before we’ve even reached adulthood. Let’s look into this iconic bit of American Slang and see what the big deal is.
I grew up in the ’90s. It was a time of neon colors, abstract triangular patterns, windbreakers, and rollerblades. You could call anything you didn’t like “gay” and nobody would think you were a bigoted asshole. And no one, absolutely no one, was safe from being considered a “dude”.
Even my mother found herself the target of the word, much to her irritation. I vividly recall numerous encounters wherein I had vomited up the word without a second thought, so used to calling my peers the same, only to be met with an annoyed ‘I am not a ‘dude’, I’m your mother.” Or the more amusing “Don’t call me a dude, I’m a dudette.”
At the time, I didn’t quite understand what the big deal was. Everyone called everyone else “dude”. We’d all been fed the same films and television that used such words with the frequency and carelessness as most millennials use the word “fuck” these days. It was often seen alongside other outdated terms like “radical”, “tubular”, or “bodacious” and spouted by beloved characters like Bill & Ted, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, or whatever godforsaken monstrosity Pauley “The Weasel” Shore was portraying in the latest cringe comedy film of the month.
As we millennials grew, we carried with us the memory of such lingo. And, as the years continued to pass the more cumbersome bits of language were shed here and there. This was sometimes due to the changing cultural consciousness and the progression of what the Right Wing Extremists sneeringly call ‘Wokeism”. For example, the realization that using the word ‘gay’ as an insult was pretty fucked up. Other times the words simply began to feel outdated and ‘cringe’, best left to their respective corners of history and pop culture. Such as most TMNT terminology and other fun terms like Shiznit, Gag me with a spoon, Talk to the Hand, etc.
Most generations seem to bestow their favorite slang terms on those that come after. Much like a precious heirloom being passed from parent to child over the years. Millennials inherited slang such as “wannabe”, “veg out”, “Hella”, “Buff”, and even “foodie” from our Gen X predecessors. Just as Gen X inherited “Threads”, “Groovy”, “Moo juice”, “Boob Tube”, and “Square” from the Boomers. There are more slang terms and words that still crop up now and then from previous generations but we’d be here all day if I went into everything I’ve come across in my research. You get my point though, I’m sure. Language, especially slang terms, is hereditary.
Language also tends to evolve from generation to generation and even from person to person. Let’s turn back to the inspiration of this ramble and consider the word “Dude”…
The History of “Dude”
According to Babbel and Wikipedia, the word “Dude” is one that’s changed definitions dramatically over the years. Its origin was believed to be back in the 18th century, relating to “Yankee Doodle Dandy” which was used to refer to well-dressed (often perhaps a bit fruity or flashily dressed) gentlemen. This was shortened to “Doodle” or “Dandy” which was believed to evolve into “Dude” somewhere in the late 18th to early 19th centuries via the phrase “All Duded up” (an obvious variant of “All Doodled Up”). So, to reiterate, the word was initially used to describe a well-dressed man. But we’re not done yet!
During the 19th century, “Dude” was brought out West by Settlers looking to snag themselves a nice ranch and homestead. You see, with the settlers came sightseers, the idle rich, and wealthy hunters. “Dude Ranches” began to spring up throughout the West much in the same way as Air B&Bs sprang up in cities before the latest housing crisis kicked off. These Dude Ranches catered to the rich who had come out to the West in search of adventure, further riches, or simply to see what all the hubbub was about. They were called as such because, well.. they were filled with fancily dressed idiots that seemed more interested in cosplaying ranchers and cowboys (used in the modern sense here, not referring to the actual historical cowboys) than actually getting all mucked up on the range. An inverse of the word “dude” would be “redneck” or “rough rider”, someone who wasn’t afraid to get out on the range and get their hands (and clothes) dirty.
Due to the word being shifted to primarily focus on the Traveling Elite, it can be found referring to tourists in America as recently as the 1950s. This is also a period where the word began to take on a more ‘gender neutral’ stance as it was used to refer to tourists of any gender so long as they made an effort to dress like the locals only to fail spectacularly. Imagine the difference between a Hawaiian local and some schmo from Minnesota visiting the islands with his pasty pale family for a week and insisting they all wear Hawaiian shirts… That’s a “dude” in the tourist sense.
As the word continued to spread across the States and stretch towards the West Coast the occasional female iteration such as “Dudette” or “Dudine’ would pop up. Unfortunately, they rarely caught on due to “Dude” having already achieved a sort of ‘gender-neutral’ status by the early 1900s as previously mentioned. Also, People often felt the female version was ‘forced’ due to the additives. “Dude” was simply easier to say than “Dudette”… and if the English have taught us anything linguistically it’s that humanity is lazy and appreciates shortcuts.
This brings us to the 1960s when “Dude” has officially reached Surfer Culture in California. This is the seed that fell from the great Oak that is “Yankee Doodle Dandy” and in the late 1900s, it will grow into what we recognize “Dude” to be today. You see, dear reader, Surfer Culture in California was a precursor of “bro culture” and as I’m sure you’ve noticed, bros love their all-encompassing words for ‘person who I may or may not know but can immediately recognize as a member of my tribe’. “Dude” was embraced wholeheartedly by surfer culture and used as a synonym for “Guy” or “Fella” initially. However, it was quickly thought to be better as it was viewed as entirely unisex. They had no awareness of its origins in describing foppish, overly dressed gentlemen back in the 18th century. All they knew was that it was a word used in touristy areas that could be used on anyone, regardless of gender presentation. It also sounded neat, was easy to pronounce, and could be used in any situation regardless of mood or intent, all it took was a slight modulation to the tone and it could convey just about anything.
From the wave-riders on the shores of the West Coast it’s just a quick jump to Hollywood in the year 1969 with the very first use of the word in American Film. The movie was, of course, Easy Rider wherein Peter Fonda’s character Wyatt finds himself in conversation with Jack Nicholson’s character, George. Wyatt explains the definition of the word both to George and the entirety of the United States; “Dude means nice guy; Dude means regular sort of person”. So it was further injected into the cultural zeitgeist, the definition having officially and firmly evolved from a well-dressed gentleman to a tourist cosplaying as a local, to a fellow friendly individual in the surfer community to… just.. a nice person, a regular person. To anyone, really.
After Easy Rider, “Dude” could be seen everywhere in films, music, and literature. And thanks to films like Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure in 1989 (where the word “Dude” was used an astonishing 70 times) its definition got a small upgrade from “normal person” to “Cool person”. But it maintained its unisex appeal despite the long-outdated belief that it’s a gendered term. This belief seems to be rooted primarily in Boomers who lived through the 50s and 60s. Remember, back then they were attempting to force “Dudette” and “Dudine” to take hold but, like Fetch, they simply didn’t “happen”.
I also feel like I would be drowned in the world’s largest White Russian if I didn’t mention the 1998 film The Big Lebowski. First of all, this film has more ‘Dudes’ than any other, clocking in at an incredible 161 uses of the word. In fact, the main character is known only as “The Dude”. The laid-back vibe he gives off throughout the entire film gained such respect and so many fans that he inspired an entire religion. Dudeism, yes, that’s its name, and, well… I’ll let its website describe what it is: An ancient philosophy that preaches non-preachiness, practices as little as possible, and above all, uh…lost my train of thought there. Anyway, if you’d like to find peace on earth and goodwill, man, we’ll help you get started. Right after a little nap.
Today, “Dude” can be found in most English-speaking areas but regardless of location, the meaning seems to have stood firm over the last 30–40 years. “Dude” in its current form simply means a cool person, a nice person, a normal person… And yes, it tends to be used regardless of the targeted individual’s gender due to being primarily viewed as gender-neutral for the last 100 years.
Using “Dude” Today
This all brings us to the eternal question: Is it ok to call anyone “Dude”?
My answer is: Sure, as long as you take it into account if you’re corrected. If someone politely asks you not to call them that, don’t roll your eyes and insist it’s gender-neutral. It doesn’t matter whether it is or not. What matters is they are the arbiters of their own identity. You have no right to assign something to them that they find uncomfortable, no more than they have any right to assign something to you that you find uncomfortable. This is not “Language policing” this is merely being asked to be respectful of another human being. If you can’t manage that then you shouldn’t be allowed to associate with polite society. That is my full view of the topic.
Gender Neutral Alternatives
So, I’m sure some of you are wondering what you might use instead of “dude” when referring to an individual or even a group. It’s always good to have options and I find that there are quite a few fun gender-neutral alternatives out there.
Here are some of my favorites:
- Gender-Neutral Group Options -
Folks/Folx — Homies — Friends — Companions — People/Peeps — Y’all — Fam/family — Mates — Comrades
- Singular Gender-Neutral Options -
Bud/Buddy — Friend — Homie — Companion — Person — Individual — Human- Pal — Mate — Comrade — Boss — Captain
- Honorific Gender-Neutral Options -
Mx./Mixter/Mixes — Ind./Individual-Misc./Miscellaneous — Dr./Doctor — Mre./Mystery — Msr./Missir — Pr./Person
- Relationship Gender-Neutral Options -
Spouse — Enbyfriend — Partner — Lover — Companion — Other Half — Boo — Significant Other — Datemate — Person — Cutie — Lovebug — Lobster — Paramour — Cuddle buddy — Feyfriend — Datefriend — Beloved — Imzadi
Remember, this is just a short list of options. The best thing about Gender-neutral language is that there are so many possibilities! Language isn’t set in stone. It evolves as the years pass and new words are always being thought up. Find or create your own together with those you care about today!
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